Monday 8:00PM May 12th, 2025

The Falcons delivered a nice gift for the more handsome Michael (that's Arbour, not Labrecque) on his 27th (ok fine, 45th) birthday Monday night, via a 21-12 win over Greenthumb.

After taking a ball off the shin over the weekend and having nightmares about group chat pics of Ash's abcess from a similar comebacker last season, Shohei decided it was time to wear a mask and some comically large hockey shin pads when pitching. Safety first!

A 1-2-3 top of the 1st for the Falcons D was followed by 3 runs scored in the bottom half. A Greenthumb single with two outs in the 2nd ruined Shohei's bid for a no-hitter. Dammit! A two spot in the bottom 2nd had the Falcons up 5-0.

The Falcons D bailed out Shohei from a bases loaded jam in the 3rd, and poured on a steady stream of hits on offence. After 5 runs scored and Steve on first, Barry deposited one over the fence! Alas, only 1 run would count, completing the Falcons first "Scotty" of the season. Good guys up 11-0.

Another delicious donut in the 4th had Shohei thinking "birthday shutout maybe?" Nope! Greenthumb scored 5, 3 and 4 runs in each of the next three innings. With the boys in blue putting up another 1, 7 and 2 runs in the next three innings, Falcons went home the winners 21-12.

Game Notes: Arbour's girlfriend Kharis was in attendance, and somehow wants to come back again! Old Jer lost a contact lense so played 90% of the game blind-ish...

BOXSCORE

BATTING:
2B: Steve, Poutine, Barry
3B: None
HR: Barry (it was a Scotty)
HR-OUTS: None
RBI: Steve (4), Poutine (4), Jerome (3), Shohei (2), Beatty (2), Barry (2), Grahambo, Billy, Old Jer, Ash

FIELDING:
DOUBLE PLAYS: None

PITCHING:
BATTERS FACED: 40

GAME INFORMATION:
STADIUM: K1 FIELD
ATTENDANCE: 3 (15% FULL) - % is based on regular season capacity (Falcons' side only)

Boxscore:

Statistical Highlights

Friday 9:30PM May 9th, 2025

The Falcons dropped the nightcap of Friday's doubleheader, despite scoring more runs than in the first game, in a 19-17 loss that would have been a lot different if it weren't for that one bad inning.

Visitors in the second game of the night, the Falcons bats picked up where they left off, scoring 4 runs in the top of the first for the second inning in a row, if you consider the sixth inning of the previous game the as the previous inning, which we all do and no one can argue it. Cowboy led off the game with the most exciting play in slo-pitch, a walk! He refused to steal second base, despite Handsome Jer taking on the first pitch of the at-bat. Cowboy was scored by Grahambo's double, who was scored by Poutine's single. To round off the inning, Million Dollar Bill proved he's still got it at fifty-ferphlembven years old by hitting his first of many home runs for 2025. Unlike SLF's home run earlier in the week, Bill didn't need to bounce this one off the weeping tile on the home run fence. It cleared it with plenty of room to spare and went 234 feet, right over the 233' sign. Triple Play, still in awe of Billy's monster shot, was only able to answer with a singleton in the bottom half.

The Falcons kept the Wayne-Train moving in the top of the second despite the significant handicap of not having anyone on the roster named "Wayne". Taxman led off with a single, and Cowboy followed in suit. Handsome Jer scored them both with a two-bagger, and he was scored by Grahambo's RBI single. Beatty doubled to score Grahambo, and Poutine walked to set the table for Big Ol' Big Balls Billy. Billy grounded into a fielder's choice. Not to fret! Shohei walked, and SLF finished off the inning with a 2 RBI double to cap off the MAX6. After an inning and a half, the Falcons led 10-1. Triple Play answered with three in the bottom of the second, and after the Falcons went *FART NOISE*, *FART NOISE*, *FART NOISE*, in the top of three, Triple Play scored four more in their turn. The Falcons' nine run lead had been cut to two.

A sac fly by Poutine scored Grahambo in the fourth, but Triple Play got it back in the bottom half. The hits just kept on coming for both teams in the fifth. In the top half, after Shohei and SLF recorded outs to start it off, the Falcons put up four runs with two out. Taxman started it off with a double, and singles by Cowboy, Handsome Jer, Grahambo, Beatty, Poutine and Million Dollar Bill finished it off. Undaunted, Triple Play's bats went off. They scored nine runs in the bottom of the fifth on ten hits, eight of them singles. Call up Scott Sonley's two run homer in his second at bat of the inning capped off the barrage.

Suddenly down four runs, the Falcons needed to answer. And much like a call from a random number that's not in your contacts, they didn't.

Game Notes: At least the Leafs were able to wi... LOL... Do a search on the Falcons' site for "one bad inning". It's a theme!

BOXSCORE

BATTING:
2B: Grahambo (2), Beatty, Taxman, Handsome Jer, SLF
3B: None
HR: Million Dollar Bill(!)
HR-OUTS: None
RBI: Grahambo (3), Poutine (3), Beatty (2), Taxman (2), Million Dollar Bill (2), Handsome Jer (2), SLF (2), Cowboy

FIELDING:
DOUBLE PLAYS: None

PITCHING:
BATTERS FACED: 49

GAME INFORMATION:
STADIUM: K1 FIELD
ATTENDANCE: 2 (10% FULL) - % is based on regular season capacity (Falcons' side only)

Boxscore:

Statistical Highlights

Friday 8:00PM May 9th, 2025

Handsome Jer hit for the cycle and the Falcons recorded their first two home run outs of the 2025 campaign in a well played 14-8 win in the early game of a doubleheader against Triple Play on Friday.

Barry Guerrero Jr, for whom we won it, wasn't in attendance. #WIFB

Down 2-1 going into the bottom of the second inning, the Falcon bats woke up earlier than usual. After Shohei smoked a liner right at a guy for the first out, SLF and Taxman singled to turn the line up over. Cowboy, seeing a 9-10 gap that was just TOO SWEET not to try for, flew out to the right fielder for the second of three times in the game. That brought up Handsome Jer, who crushed a pitch to the football field for a 3-run bomb.

After metaphorically exchanging delicious doughnuts in the third inning, the Falcons really blew the game open recording a MAX6. Handsome Jer started it off scoring Cowboy on a double, and he was then scored on Grahambo's first dinger of the year. Beatty followed up with his first bomb of the year as well, but since the Falcons were already up +2 in home runs, it didn't count. New bats and huge dudes add up to half swings that go 240 ft. There's some math that only Dr J can comprehend. Poutine started it back up with the second of his three two-baggers of the nights, an scored on Million Dollar Bill's single that followed. Billy advanced to third on Shohei's double, and SLF scored them both with a triple to max out the inning.

In the sixth, the Falcons added four insurance runs on a combination of doubles by Poutine (his third of the night), SLF (second), Taxman (first), and RBI singles by Shohei and Cowboy.

Shohei kept the Triple Play bats quiet until the seventh inning, when they put up four, but it was too little, too late.

Game Notes: #WIFB... Shohei was able to keep Triple Play's Bash Brothers, Darren and Danny Cousins (brothers named Cousins! HA!) off the home run tally chart... Grahambo, who loves drama, tried to score Handsome Jer after his triple, but instead of just hitting an RBI single to score the runner, he tried to hit one to Mars. It didn't get there, but it did land over the fence for the Falcons' second Grahambo of the night to end the inning. At least it didn't cost him a pizza.

BOXSCORE

BATTING:
2B: Poutine (3), Shohei, Taxman, Handsome Jer, SLF
3B: Handsome Jer, SLF
HR: Grahambo, Handsome Jer
HR-OUTS: Grahambo, Beatty
RBI: Handsome Jer (4), Grahambo (2), Taxman (2), SLF (2), Shohei, Cowboy, Million Dollar Bill, Poutine

FIELDING:
DOUBLE PLAYS: None

PITCHING:
BATTERS FACED: 37

GAME INFORMATION:
STADIUM: K1 FIELD
ATTENDANCE: 2 (10% FULL) - % is based on regular season capacity (Falcons' side only)

Boxscore:

Statistical Highlights

Tuesday 8:00PM May 6th, 2025

MICHAEL "BALLS" ARBOUR jacked his first ever fetch-it-yourself home run to cap a MAX6 first inning and the Falcons cruised the rest of the way in a 29-1 win over the newly named Inglorious Batters on Tuesday evening.

As you probably noticed, this website takes it easy on glorifying the highlights when the score is lopsided in our favour, so we won't spend too much time mentioning that both Barry Guerrero Jr and SLF also hit bombs, and SLF briefly had an OPS of 5.000.

Game Notes: #WIFB... After a scary collision between Dunner and Balls Arbour in the 2nd inning, Dunner took a brief moment to himself to think about his finger. He was right back in there moments later snagging a negative launch angle foul tip for a P2... Barry's dinger in the 3rd inning was a 3-run shot but only 2 of those runs counted. We have a term for that but I can't remember what it is... Cycles: Dunner and Cowboy were short a home run, #WIFB was short the triple... Everyone had multiple hits, everyone scored a run, everyone drove in a run... Popsicle sucking ends now, as the Falcons have a doubleheader with both games against the as-yet undefeated Triple Play on Friday.

BOXSCORE

BATTING:
2B: Cowboy, Dunner, Million Dollar Bill, Poutine, Barry Guerrero Jr
3B: Cowboy, Dunner
HR: BALLS ARBOUR, Barry Guerrero Jr, SLF
HR-OUTS: None
RBI: Barry Guerrero Jr (5)(!), Cowboy (4), Poutine (4), SLF (4), BALLS ARBOUR (3), Grahambo (3), Dunner (3), Dr J, Million Dollar Bill, Taxman

FIELDING:
DOUBLE PLAYS: Grahambo, unassisted

PITCHING:
BATTERS FACED: 30

GAME INFORMATION:
STADIUM: K2 FIELD
ATTENDANCE: 3 (15% FULL) - % is based on regular season capacity (Falcons' side only)

Boxscore:

Statistical Highlights

Sunday 6:30PM May 4th, 2025

In the 2nd game of the opening weekend doubleheader, the Falcons got the bats going early but lost to Broadway, 16-8.

Fresh off a close loss to Triple Play, Broadway tried to blow this one out early with a MAX6 before we could even decide on whether to turn the fancy new lights on. Five of the first six Falcons singled to plate 4 of their own, and another run in the 2nd made it 6-5.

But in the 3rd, Broadway logged another MAX6 and 4 more in the 4th. Back-to-back doubles by Cowboy and Barry Guerrero Jr closed the gap to 16-6 and, late in the game, Poutine and Dr. J were scored on a Shohei single and a double by Million Dollar Bill. But it wasn’t enough as Broadway continued their regular season romp over the Falcons, who were left searching for Win #1 in the #WIFB campaign.

Game Notes: Cowboy smashed a liner off of the Broadway pitcher’s shin that sounded like early Victoria Day fireworks going off. Smartly, said pitcher was wearing a shin guard but the explosion was enough for Teets to hobble around the basepaths in sympathy pain… Maybe that’s why Teets let Shohei pitch every inning last night, which is already more than the current Vegas line on Max Scherzer’s 2025 output… Broadway win the award for highest fan attendance, as their loved ones are seemingly at every game. Falcons fans of all ages rightfully abandoned ship after Game 1… Hey at least it didn’t rain, which was a thing that plagued many of our prior opening days.

BOXSCORE

BATTING:
2B: Cowboy, Barry Guerrero Jr, Million Dollar Bill
3B: None
HR: None
HR-OUTS: None
RBI: Million Dollar Bill (2), Handsome Jer (2), Dunner, Shohei, Barry Guerrero Jr, Dr. J

FIELDING:
DOUBLE PLAYS: None

PITCHING:
BATTERS FACED: 40+

GAME INFORMATION:
STADIUM: K2 FIELD
ATTENDANCE: 1 (5% FULL)

Boxscore:

Statistical Highlights

Sunday 5:00PM May 4th, 2025

The air was chilly and the bats were chillier as the boys in blue kicked off the 2025 season with a losing effort against the 2024 WMSPL champions Storm, 14-6.

So what’s new with the Falcons? Everyone got new jerseys (thanks Beatty!) which arrived just in time as the lettering on all of our old unis—similar to our loved ones—simultaneously gave up on us at the end of last year. Handsome Jer went the whole way and got blinding white softball pants, which lasted for ½ an inning as the infield dove and battled what resembled a construction site of a playing field all night. Ash also no longer has a hole in his leg, so our NSFW WhatsApp feed is safe once again.

Otherwise it’s the same ol’ Falcons, who brought back the whole (fun!) party from 2024 in what some would describe as a literal exercise in insanity. 5 guys signed out for the first weekend? Check. Renewing our oldest rivalries against reloaded Storm and Broadway squads? Check. An inability to cash any semblance of a run the first time through the lineup? You get the picture.

Mills kicked off the Storm campaign with a single to RF, and Duran promptly deposited a line drive HR that was still on its way up as it cleared the fence. Before MVP Cowboy even picked up a bat for the home squad, Storm were up 5-0.

The Falcons didn’t get anything going until the 3rd, when a Dunner single brought home Teets to make it 6-1. In the 4th, Dr J and Shohei were cashed by RBI singles from Paul and Teets, and the top of the order brought home two more to close the gap to 9-5.

But that’s as close as the home side would get. Storm added a bunch of insurance runs and both teams accomplished the main goal of escaping with no injuries heading into the 2nd game of the Sunday doubleheader.

Game Notes: Almost one injury of note: Joey took a foul ball liner off the hand? Helmet? while standing on 3rd. The Falcons had no fear of suffering the same fate as a) Beatty was out of the lineup; and b) we had no extra base hits all game, so definitely not many guys standing around waiting to score… Stats are entered with a heavy asterisk, as it was hodgepodge scorekeeping at best. With SLF MIA for half the season, can we somehow just have the useful members of that household (mostly Homie) attend our games?

BOXSCORE

BATTING:
2B: Nope
3B: Nada
HR: None
HR-OUTS: None
RBI: Dunner (3), Handsome Jer, Paul, Teets

FIELDING:
DOUBLE PLAYS: None

PITCHING:
BATTERS FACED: 40+

GAME INFORMATION:
STADIUM: K2 FIELD
ATTENDANCE: 5 (25% FULL)

Boxscore:

Statistical Highlights