Sunday 6:30PM June 8th, 2025

In an incredibly close back end of a Sunday doubleheader, the Falcons came up just short against The Crew, losing 10-9.

In the 1st, the makeshift Falcons D held The Crew to a doughnut, and Poutine cashed Barry Guerrero Jr with a single in the bottom half to stake the home side to an early 1-0 lead. The Crew held the Falcons to their own doughnuts in the 2nd and 3rd, and answered with 3 runs of their own to make it 3-1.

In the 4th, the visitors tried to blow this one open, turning up the walk-up volume and piling on 5 runs. The Falcons looked like they were done, facing an 8-1 deficit against WMSPL’s top team.

Someone must have saged the bats because the Falcons answered right back, hitting 5 singles and 2 doubles without recording an out for a MAX6 and making it an 8-7 game. Both teams traded a single run in the 5th and doughnuts in the 6th, with The Crew clinging to a 9-8 lead heading into the 7th.

The Crew launched a late solo HR to give themselves a 2-run cushion. The Falcons said a little Sunday prayer before getting to work one last time—with one out, Miner Leaguer, Million Dollar Bill and Shohei all singled to score one. Dr. J flied out to CF and earned boos from his loved ones for the second out before Teets hit a clutch single to load the bases.

That set the stage for Handsome Jer: down one, two out, the bases loaded and a golden opportunity to cash the Falcons hopes of actually winning a game with this ragtag defensive lineup. Jer let one strike go by before belting a pitch deep to CF. The wind wasn’t gonna help this one though as it stayed in the park and was snagged for out #3, sending The Crew home with the slimmest of wins.

Game Notes: While there was no joy in Mudville, Mighty Casey Handsome Jer has nothing to hang his head about, as the Falcons have been riding his bat and glove to wins all year… Shohei also deserves credit for putting his Doctor Strange hat on, looking at all of the possible combinations of our 6 regular infielders + 2 outfielder group, and crafting a lineup that put us in position to win both games… having said that, the Falcons still outdid themselves in game 2 on Sunday, only sending 37 guys to the plate and finishing this one in record time... with pizza fines staying at a record low pace, hopefully everyone's ok with sharing a couple medium pies when we go to cash that in.

BOXSCORE

BATTING:
2B: Barry Guerrero Jr (2), Shohei
3B: None
HR: None
HR-OUTS: None
RBI: Arbour (3), Barry Guerrero Jr (2), Teets, Handsome Jer, Poutine, Dr J

FIELDING:
DOUBLE PLAYS: None

PITCHING:
BATTERS FACED: ?

GAME INFORMATION:
STADIUM: K1 FIELD
ATTENDANCE: 2 (10% FULL) - % is based on regular season capacity (Falcons' side only)

Boxscore:

Statistical Highlights

Sunday 5:00PM June 8th, 2025

What do you get when 5 of your regular OFs sign out of a Sunday doubleheader? Ken Griffey Jr Presents Major League Baseball for the SNES would tell you that playing too many players out of position does not result in anything good, but the Falcons were actually in this game against the Isotopes up until the very end!

The Isotopes plated 2 in the first before the SLF-taint-free lineup went to work: Handsome Jer doubled, Barry Guerrero Jr singled and Grahambo brought the Falcons first run home with a two-bagger of his own. Poutine and Miner Leaguer followed with back-to-back sac flies to give the home side an early 3-2 lead.

In the top of the 3rd, the Isotopes tied the game at 4. Poutine led the bottom half with a double before Miner Leaguer and Million Dollar Bill both flied out. Shohei singled to bring Poutine home, and then invoked the “There’s 2 outs and I’ve got Robocop pitching gear to put on so someone sub in” rule, so Miner Leaguer pinch ran for free. Dr. J hit one to the OF and Miner Leaguer did his thing, scoring all the way from first and forcing the 3rd baseman to field the relay home, giving Dr. J his first extra base hit of the season (a triple!).

Sadly, that was the last of the Falcons lead. A monster HR by Justin to deep CF capped off a 5-run 4th for the Isotopes, and then Henry hit another HR in the 6th as they piled on insurance runs that paid dividends, as the Falcons chipped away at their lead but fell short, 15-10.

Game Notes: The corner OFs would tell you they were way out of their comfort zones, but Barry Guerrero Jr and Grahambo played just about perfect shagging fly balls all day… as did Teets, turning back the clock and stretching to make a few plays at 1B… Poutine’s incredible 6-game 1.000 batting avg streak came to an end, going a lowly 2 for 3 with a SF… for a 9-man lineup, logging only 39 ABs is an incredibly gloomy feat.

BOXSCORE

BATTING:
2B: Handsome Jer (2), Million Dollar Bill, Grahambo, Poutine, Barry Guerrero Jr
3B: Dr J
HR: None
HR-OUTS: None
RBI: Barry Guerrero Jr (3), Poutine (2), Miner Leaguer (2), Shohei, Grahambo, Dr J

FIELDING:
DOUBLE PLAYS: None

PITCHING:
BATTERS FACED: ?

GAME INFORMATION:
STADIUM: K1 FIELD
ATTENDANCE: 0 (0% FULL) - % is based on regular season capacity (Falcons' side only)

Boxscore:

Statistical Highlights

Friday 9:30PM June 6th, 2025

Things labelled “High Risk” last night:

1. Air Quality - The Weather app said this is either because of wildfires, or the stench of 8 teams of sweaty dudes playing a full Friday night schedule

2. The infield - Bad hops left Grahambo and Dr J with new lumps that Poutine will inevitably mistake for implants, and this will make him excited

3. Putting Poutine anywhere in the batting order that’s not last - The man deserves to hit cleanup, but his 9:45pm arrival dictates otherwise

A Falcons-Coulas matchup is always a good time and, while the Falcons continued their deserved streak of having no loved ones in attendance, Coulas certainly brought it—spouses, kids and walk-up music (thanks for normalizing this, Crew!).

Handsome Jer led off with a single, and Dunner and DC followed suit for the first run of the night. Million Dollar Bill and Dr J cashed 2 more and the Falcons had an early 3-0 lead. Coulas responded with a 2-run moonshot to RCF to cut the lead to one.

In the 3rd, the Falcons scored one before loading the bases for Poutine, who promptly launched a no-doubt grand slam into the trees in RF. Handsome Jer singled and Grahambo, not to be undone, smashed a 1-run Scotty over the LF fence for a MAX6.

Coulas chipped away in every inning but the Falcons added 5 late insurance runs in the sixth to win 21-11.

GAME NOTES: Beatty smoked his first dinger of the year that was ruled fair after a lengthy review (everyone saying “yep that looked good”)… Miner Leaguer’s first triple of 2025 ties him with Cowboy (!) and one behind team leads Handsome Jer and Dunner… hate to jinx this but is there a hotter bat in the league right now than Poutine? Dude is batting 1.000 over the past 6 games despite not being able to tell the time… DC also heating up, going 5-5.

BOXSCORE

BATTING:
2B: Grahambo, Million Dollar Bill, Poutine
3B: Miner Leaguer, Dunner
HR: Beatty, Poutine, Grahambo
HR OUTS: None
RBI: Poutine (6!!), Dunner (3), Grahambo (3), DC (2), Beatty (2), Shohei (2), Miner Leaguer, Million Dollar Bill, Dr J

FIELDING:
DOUBLE PLAYS: Grahambo

PITCHING:
BATTERS FACED: ?

GAME INFORMATION:
STADIUM: K2 FIELD
ATTENDANCE: 0 (0% FULL) - % is based on regular season capacity (Falcons' side only)

Boxscore:

Statistical Highlights

Monday 8:00PM June 2nd, 2025

Barry Guerrero Jr's sixth inning grand slam was the difference as the Falcons held on -- barely -- to a 15-14 victory over Hanet on Monday night.

Some would call it slo-pitch, but boredom was the name of the game in the first inning as both teams put up delicious doughnuts, sending seven batters to the plate for six outs. In the top of the second, the Falcons got something going. Dunner led off with a two-bagger, and after a flyout by Million Dollar Bill, they loaded the bases with nothing but patience. Two consecutive walks to Shohei and Dr J loaded them up for SLF, who lined a single to left to score two. Teets followed with a single to score one, and Poutine (who arrived eventually) followed with his own RBI single. After a Cowboy single that didn't score squat, Handsome Jer cashed a duck with a single to load the bases. Barry Guerrero ended the MAX6 effort with a ground ball to second, who couldn't make the out at home to score the last run of the inning. The Falcons big ol' D shut down Hanet in the bottom of the inning to take a 6-0 lead to the third.

In that third inning, Dunner singled, then scored when Million Dollar Bill hit a "double", which should have been scored a fielder's choice. Billy hit a grounder to short, which was fielded cleanly and as the shortstop was about to throw Billy out at first, someone told him to go to two instead. He did, but sailed the throw into right field where it just sat there. Dunner, safe at second on the error, advanced all the way home. Billy moved up to second, and that was the end of the excitement for the blue side of the third. Hanet, clearly frustrated, used their half of the third to put up a five-spot, highlighted by Lars' 3-run dinger. After 3, the Falcons held a slim 7-5 lead.

In the fourth, Poutine was all of the offence for the Falcons. In almost all situations in all of life, Poutine is almost all of the offence. Just ask any woman. Hanet failed to score in the bottom of the fourth.

They did tie the game, however, in the bottom of the fifth inning, scoring three, two of which were scored on a sacrifice fly. A two run sac fly would be notable almost any other year except the Falcons have allowed a 3-run sac fly THIS SEASON.

Finally, in the sixth, the SLF-tainted line up showed up. Better late than never. Six straight singles to open the frame climaxed with Barry Guerrero Jr's two-strike oppo-taco wall scraper grand slam. In all, the Falcons put up 7 runs with the time limit looming. All the Falcons had to do was put away Hanet, with the bottom of their line up coming up, in short order to preserve the victory.

Tell me if you've heard this one before...

Hanet's number 7 hitter led off the inning with a double. He was followed by two straight singles before WMSPL 36-year vet John Feret popped into an infield fly for the first out. Alex hit a single to turn the line up over, and dark clouds formed over the Falcons' lead. Kevin singled, scoring one. Adam singled, cashing two more. Down two with two on, up came Lars. Discussions happened about using the rare Regular Season IBB to keep Lars' dangerous bat off the ball, but were eventually scrapped... for two pitches. After going down 2-0, Shohei decided not to tempt fate, and put Lars on. It turned out to be a shrewd decision. Instead of Lars jacking the go ahead bomb, Hanet scored two more on a fielder's choice and a single, but failed to complete the comeback. Sphincters audibly unclenched.

GAME NOTES: There was cause for concern in the fourth inning, as some street toughs, riding their various electrically motivated 2-wheeled means of transport, cheered (if halfheartedly) for Poutine's home run, then FOLLOWED HIM TO THE FOOTBALL FIELD as an unnecessary escort to retrieve his home run ball. Poutine declined their requests to autograph the ball, and later explained that they were just some young men looking for a homeless man to beat up. Once Pou explained that he did, in fact, have a home with a wife and kids, they left him alone... Pou's home run put him into a tie on the Falcons home run list with notable sluggers Shohei, SLF, Million Dollar Bill, Cowboy, and one ahead of Beatty *DUCKS*... According to the NSA rulebook, Rule 8, Sec 8(j): [THE BASERUNNER IS OUT:] when a baserunner is struck with a fair-batted ball in fair territory while OFF BASE (emphasis mine) and before it passes an infielder, excluding the pitcher... So Poutine was right, but he would make a better case if his hand wasn't down his pants while making it.

BOXSCORE

BATTING:
2B: Dunner, Million Dollar Bill, Handsome Jer
3B: None
HR: Poutine, Barry Guerrero Jr
HR OUTS: None
RBI: Barry Guerrero Jr (5), Poutine (3), Handsome Jer (2), SLF (2), Teets (2), Million Dollar Bill

FIELDING:
DOUBLE PLAYS: None

PITCHING:
BATTERS FACED: 39

GAME INFORMATION:
STADIUM: K1 FIELD
ATTENDANCE: 5 (25% FULL) - % is based on regular season capacity (Falcons' side only)

Boxscore:

Statistical Highlights

Wednesday 8:00PM May 28th, 2025

Miserable.

There’s nothing else to describe this… thing the Expos and Falcons went through Wednesday night. Fans in attendance would have used more expletive-laden language… only no one in their right mind would endure the cold and pouring rain to watch the Expos beat the Falcons in a game that was never really close.

True to his namesake, Cowboy farmed the infield with a rake to make sure the flowing river of water between 3rd and home wouldn’t impede any runners, but only 7 Falcons would ultimately score. The well-prepped ump asked us to lay fluorescent markers along the outfield foul lines, presumably because no one could see a G-damn thing with the rain and fog. And if the ball was hit anywhere in the gap, well, may Jesus bless the ankles of the outfielders running to get them.

In the first, Grahambo took a rare walk, DC (in his season debut!) singled, and Dr J followed with another single for a 1-0 Falcons lead that was their only one of the night. The Expos took advantage of a makeshift 9-man Falcons D and quickly plated 5 of their own to stake themselves a lead they would never relinquish.

Back-to-back doubles in the 2nd from Cowboy and Grahambo scored two, and a string of 2-out hits in the 4th scored three more. But the Expos responded each time to win every inning except the 7th when it didn’t matter, and went home… happy? Wet? Relieved?

Let’s not play in that kind of rain again.

GAME NOTES: At least we had DC back, for so many reasons: a) Tales of spreading the gospel of Stacked to pancake-deprived communities; b) avoiding having to send any other infielders out to play RCF; and c) contributing to what was a miniscule pizza fund. DC followed up his “I think I struck out in the first game back last year” note with a two K debut in 2025, and we will all appreciate the large Meat Lovers (insert Poutine joke) come pizza night… with no Homie scorekeeping, there was no tracking of any other fines so please rat on each other and we’ll add to the pot… by the end of the night, the scorecard was soaked and streaked and I had to wait for it to dry (there’s another Poutine joke in there somewhere) so hopefully the stats are kind of accurate… Cowboy would have had an inside-the-park HR but the ball disappeared in a bog just under the CF fence for a ground-rule double… Beatty corralled a liner that bounced off his glove and towards the Falcons dugout, flipping it backhand to a stretched out Grahambo at 3rd for a highlight-reel out... From ChatGPT: “For slow pitch softball bats, its generally recommended to avoid using them in temperatures below 15C.” Once more: F-you May weather.

BOXSCORE

BATTING:
2B: Cowboy (2), Shohei, Grahambo
3B: None
HR: None
HR OUTS: None
RBI: Grahambo (3), Beatty, Million Dollar Bill, Taxman, Dr J

FIELDING:
DOUBLE PLAYS: Cowboy-Dr J

PITCHING:
BATTERS FACED: ?

GAME INFORMATION:
STADIUM: K1 FIELD
ATTENDANCE: 0 (0% FULL) - % is based on regular season capacity (Falcons' side only)

Boxscore:

Statistical Highlights

Sunday 9:30PM May 25th, 2025

The Falcons finished off their Sunday doubleheader taking down the previously undefeated Crew 16-11.

Unlike most Falcons games, the offence came early. Without Poutine around to make a comment about that, we'll just keep moving. In the top of the first, doubles by Cowboy, Dunner and Handsome Jer surrounded a single by Barry Guerrero Jr to put up a three-spot. The all-of-a-sudden efficient Falcons' defence held the Crew to zilch in the bottom half, then poured on some more offence putting up at MAX6 in the top of two. The Crew responded with 3 in the bottom of the second, and held the Falcons to a delicious doughnut in the top of the third.

Remember last games spectacularly rare P2-P2-P2 inning? Dunner wasn't satisfied being spotlighted just once on this night. In the bottom of the third inning, the Crew opened with a couple singles. With runners on the corners, Glen hit a sacrifice fly to SLF in right to score one. After Sonley singled, Sean walked, and Jackson scored Scott with a single, the Crew had the bases loaded with one out. Resty hit an oppo flare out to right that SLF caught. The runner from third tagged, and SLF tried to gun him down at home with a throw that was off line. Dunner, catching, noticed immediately that:

1. The throw had zero shot at getting the runner at home, and
2. The runner on first was taking the opportunity to tag and go to second.

Dunner came off the plate to get the ball and rifle it to Cowboy at second base. The problem with that was, Cowboy, as usual, was playing left centre field, and not exactly shallow left centre field either. Dunner's throw sailed the bag by, well, a lot, and the ball ended up in the outfield. By the time Cowboy could get there and get the ball back into the infield, all the baserunners had scored for a 3-RBI sacrifice fly. And how often does one come across that? And just so Sean doesn't think I'm piling on, SLF let a ball that should have been easily corralled get by him for a triple the inning before.

The MAX6 in the third for the Crew tied the score at nines after three.

The Falcons answered that MAX6 with their second MAX6 of the game in the fourth. Six singles and two doubles filled the scoresheet in a bat-around inning.

The Crew wasn't ready to roll over yet, and put up two of their own in the bottom of four. The Falcons scored one in the top of the fifth, and shut the door defensively the rest of the way.

Game Notes: The perfect Sunday puts the Falcons in a tie for second place in the President's division with Triple Play.

BOXSCORE

BATTING:
2B: Dunner (2), SLF (2), Handsome Jer, Million Dollar Bill, Taxman, Cowboy
3B: Handsome Jer.
HR: None
HR-OUTS: None
RBI: Handsome Jer (5), Dunner (4), SLF (2), Barry Guerrero Jr (2), Miner Leaguer, Million Dollar Bill, Dr J

FIELDING:
DOUBLE PLAYS: None

PITCHING:
BATTERS FACED: 41

GAME INFORMATION:
STADIUM: K1 FIELD
ATTENDANCE: 1 (5% FULL) - % is based on regular season capacity (Falcons' side only)

Boxscore:

Statistical Highlights

Sunday 8:00PM May 25th, 2025

The Falcons never trailed, and they showed some strong D on their way to winning game one of Sunday's doubleheader, 15-5 over the Isotopes.

There wasn't anything terribly exciting about this game. The very businesslike Falcons scored one in the top of the first inning to take the lead, and though it's not like they never looked back, but the lead wasn't really ever in danger. After holding the home side to nothing in the bottom of the first inning, in the top of the second, the visitors put up 3 more to go up 4-0. The Falcons' offence then took a break for a couple innings to catch their breath, allowing the Isotopes to score a few and get to within 4-3 after four.

Sandwiched in there is an inning you're not likely to see again: in the bottom of the third, Dunner, catching, made all three outs of the home side of the inning. The rare AF P2-P2-P2 was the craziest thing to happen for about an hour.

The top of the fifth brought the Falcons' offence, as it typically does. Two in the fifth, and another 3 in the sixth kept the Isotopes, who were chipping away with singletons every inning, at bay. A six-run seventh for the Falcons put this one to bed.

Game Notes: The only positive regarding the delayed arrival of warm weather, is that there aren't any mosquitoes in the outfield yet.

BOXSCORE

BATTING:
2B: Cowboy, Dunner, Miner Leaguer (Hi Chad!), Handsome Jer
3B: None
HR: None
HR-OUTS: None
RBI: Cowboy (3), Handsome Jer (3), Dunner (2), Barry Guerrero Jr (2), Dr J (2), SLF, Million Dollar Bill, Miner Leaguer

FIELDING:
DOUBLE PLAYS: Handsome Jer-Dr J

PITCHING:
BATTERS FACED: 33

GAME INFORMATION:
STADIUM: K2 FIELD
ATTENDANCE: 1 (5% FULL) - % is based on regular season capacity (Falcons' side only)

Boxscore:

Statistical Highlights