Falcons Forum

As was inevitable, the Newcastle Rear Admirals lost their first game of the season in spectacular fashion, as they were walked off by the Ugly Ducklings in what must have been a thrilling bottom of the seventh inning on Wednesday night. More losses are expected, mostly by people who haven't been paying any attention. This reporter didn't attend the game, so most of this recap is based on assumptions, innuendo, and outright fabrication.

Team King (and former Falcon himself) Dinner Dunn later told FalconsSloPitch.com that it was all Poutine's fault, and it wouldn't have happened if Pou had played for the Falcons that night like he should have. No, it doesn't matter than the Rear Admirals had a double header and it made more sense for Pou to play for them that night. Dinner also took some of the blame for the loss (as he should, just look at that smirk on his face), but really threw Poutine under the team's bus.

This surely is the beginning of the end for the presumably first-place Rear Admirals. After starting the season on an unbelievable 10-0 run, the wheels fell off as expected. Even though a 4 run inning in slo-pitch is more frequent than Poutine hitting on a teammate's mom, they surely must have thrown the ball around the field while Yakkety Sax played in the background to allow the Ducks to waltz off with the victory. This type of defensive display NEVER EVER happens to the Falcons, you see.

It's only a matter of time until this loss turns into 2 in a row, then 3, then next thing you know, they're 2 games under .500 just like their MEN'S league parent club.

(reads the next recap on the Admirals website...)

Dammit.